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This be my moïra in Life

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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2011|09:44 am]
This be my moïra in Life
[Current Location |France, Caen]

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(no subject) [Sep. 14th, 2009|10:44 am]
This be my moïra in Life
Yes i'm still alive, life is just going a little too fast for me lately... somebody stop the world, I want to get off.

I'll try t o make an allcomprehensive post soon
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(no subject) [Dec. 31st, 2008|05:15 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Fairy Laughter |indescribableindescribable]
[Fairy Melody |Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah]

happy new year everyone, I know I haven't written here much, and I can't promise I'll do more, I feel lost lately, and so can't manage to write, I think wr all go through these periods, other than that, I keep busy


I love you all very much and miss you more than words can say.
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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2008|08:03 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
I bought a rabbit to compensate for my feeling alone. <_< >_> I know I know I'm avoiding a lot of stuff but other than chlass and being at my mother's my life is non existant. T_T wtf >_<
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(no subject) [Oct. 11th, 2008|12:56 am]
This be my moïra in Life
[Fairy Laughter |cynicalcynical]

Life goes on right? I mean we're regularly at a crossroads between what we want to do and what we have to do. I have the impression that lately I've been at the same crossroads over and over again, and since none else I know is in my position I have no one to talk to about it. So yeah, I started my 3rd year of License, originally I wanted to teach, sometime in the ohh NEAR future, but now they tell us you need to get to Master 2 plus "les concours" (exams basically) to do so. Great, wonderful, I'm never going to teach I'm not made up for this much schooling, I love working with kids and I have great relations with them but this is getting to be insane, I'll do it because its on the "what you have to do" list but I'm not particularly fond of it. Most days I wish i'd never got out of bed. I wish life had handed me different cards, I wish I'd been accepted to the nursing p program and just done that. The US holds so many things for me but I'll probably never get back permanently nor do I want the burden of having the grandparents on my back. And here, France offers me freedom; a career perhaps someday, kids I've become attached to and a possibility to do something of my life, but I'm alone here, and I shoulder so many responsibilities and commitments family wise that I've stifled; and irrevocably alone. Gods I feel Lost.
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(no subject) [Aug. 19th, 2008|02:23 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
In binghamton at the moment, I'll be here until September 23rd. HINT HINT. I'd like to see people but me and the phone contacts had a minor disagreement and it ate them. gah. Need to run again. will write more later
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I'm not dead....... yet [May. 30th, 2008|10:03 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Home]
[Fairy Laughter |exhaustedexhausted]

everything is ok

I know I've been MIA for a while now. I haven't done much just gone to class dealt with friend's depressions, and taken care of my lovely little sister. other than that, i fell and broke my ankle, got hit by a car and so broke my ankle AGAIN. and heh, you know the usual stuff

I guess if I was religious you'd say I was having a crisis of faith, but i'm not religious. So I guess I'm just having a crisis. I suddenly feel very very old! on the top of my 23 years they feel more like 53 years. I feel alone and lost not just emotionally on that side i've pretty much resigned myself to being the unloved crazy cat lady minus the cats. But career-wise I'm not happy. I've studying to be an English teacher basically. Something which is fairly interesting I'll give you that but something that doesn't really make me happy. Its not the teacher part, I like being connected with people, in fact I wanted to study nursing because of that, because i wanted to have a direct link with people to be useful. I guess its a sort of self gratification since its to make myself happy.

I don't know; I guess I'm just at my wits end

otherwise that's pretty much it for me. Promise I'll try to catch up on everyone's journals

oh and I'll be in Binghamton from july 10th to september 23rd ( meaning I hope not to spend my birthday alone this year!!)

anyways

I love you all very much and think about you ;)
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Codeine [Mar. 17th, 2008|09:27 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
so... as many many people I hate dentists. with a passion, but being obligated to see one I do so, she gives me codeine after having butchered half of my mouth. I've spent the past two weeks under an amazingly huge quantity of codeine and now I find out I've been sick because she basically had me overdose the stupid thing. not a drastic overdose, just enough to be nice and sick and pass out regularly.

I hate dentists.
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memories [Mar. 5th, 2008|08:16 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Tags|, ]
[Fairy Laughter |gloomygloomy]

when I was walking home from class today there was a smell wafting of burning firewood. It reminded me of winter weekends spent at Daejya's in front of the fireplace goofing off with her mom on the couch.

I miss home.
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So this is... [Jan. 15th, 2008|11:57 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Fairy Laughter |calmcalm]

woke up this morning and realized I'm tired, and I'm alone, and i just want to feel loved once in a while,even if it wasn't real. I hate myself and I hate the classes I'm taking but I can't do anything else because nothing interests me I don't care about the fact that my account is overdrawn by 300€ or the fact that there is nothing to eat at all here and that there won't be anything to eat until at least the end of February, that I haven't started my final's thesis in literature, that I haven't opened the history book I'm do to give a lecture on next week. All I care about is dying.
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(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2008|05:17 am]
This be my moïra in Life
So the New Year rang in some 5 hours ago here, I ju st wanted to wish everyone, a happy healthy andd all around GOOOD and safe new year
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misery [Dec. 30th, 2007|08:16 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
WHAT the hell is it with people having kids, and getting married lately!!!

my misery would love some company
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(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2007|03:09 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
I don't like the holidays but that Aside just a little quote to show how BORED i've been considering it had me giggling for a good ten minutes.

[after being told that he has to fly a helicopter with no prior experience]
Flynn Carsen: The main principles are lift and thrust...
[fiddles with controls]
Flynn Carsen: Easy as pie.
[helicopter starts malfunctioning and flying erratically]
Flynn Carsen: Horrible! Horrible! High-velocity pie of death!
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too much to ask [Nov. 21st, 2007|10:08 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Fairy Laughter |drainedgone]
[Fairy Melody |Fall Out Boy - Golden]

can't find love in love, can't find it in the world, perhaps the ink will tell me why I m so sadCollapse )
comments welcome, for once
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(no subject) [Nov. 7th, 2007|08:34 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
totally random but i was reading an interview with Dan Radcliffe (WHAT!? I was in the doc's office I swear) and he reminds me of Cory. Or i guess i could easily imagine the things he says coming from Cory or something ( this all made sense in my head)
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Wisdom is perhaps just another name for pain. [Nov. 4th, 2007|10:53 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |Home]
[Fairy Laughter |sadsad]

why can't I seem to write? to talk?

perhaps I think these days that i'm going insane. I miss home, but mostly if you ask me if i miss home I say no. I miss my friends, and hugs. the same things go round and round in my head to a point where i'm not sure if they mean anything any more. and by that point do they need to mean anything.

but mostly I hurt. silently, and behind a smile but i hurt, i dry myself to sleep every night and the thought of being alone scares me. I feel like I've lost touch with the people I know and that I'm returning to that 10 year old girl who spoke to no one and did what she was told while she died a little bit more every time. I thought I'd saved her, isolated her in a cocoon cotton world where nothing could hurt that part of me, that kindness, that inherent childishness that lets you trust people and be shy and love people without reason; I think i cocooned her so much that I killed her, that I'm killing her and that all that's left is what everyone sees, an acid sarcastic cold shell that pretends.

ain't that sad?
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(no subject) [Oct. 4th, 2007|07:17 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Home]
[Fairy Laughter |drunk]

just a thought to amuse the masses.


Naked wolves.


yes, you read it right naked wolves, this is what happens when my mind is left alone at 3am with WAY too much tequila, I mean naked wolves people! but pretty much any animal naked looks ridiculous! cats, bears, dogs (see POODLE) and humans too!
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so, where do we go from here? [Oct. 3rd, 2007|11:44 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Home]
[Fairy Laughter |depresseddepressed]

I feel watched.


there is a guy that keeps coming to my window and knocking. It's totally freaking me out. At first it was innocent enough asking for a light, or a cig. Then he started asking for like a drink, and now he wants to come into the apartment it's really unsettling. I've alerted campus security.

Other than that, classes start soon. I'm not looking forward to it. I want to do something else. Maybe the grandparents are right and the thing I'm looking for is a family unit. Weird I know. But with my lil sis being born and everyone well anchored in their lives. I feel lost. Lost in the physical and in the mental sense. I can't find my place. Not being a person of faith I can't fall back on that. And lately even talking hasn't been helping, no matter how many hours I spend talking with .N. I can't find that peace. I guess it feels like I need a hug, but a hug that lasts hours. Maybe I need someone to lean on; someone to assume some of this shit. It's like I used to have dreams, hopes, now its just so bleak.

Did you ever notice that by the way, THIS and SHIT; same letters; different order.

well I guess its just SSDD for me.
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(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2007|02:41 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
[Tags|]
[Fairy Laughter |deceptively calm]

Sun Sign: Virgo
Sun 28° Virgo 35'
Virgo Horoscope
for today »
Moon Sign: Leo
Moon 6° Leo 20'
Leo Horoscope
for today »
Rising Sign: Scorpio
Ascendant 10° Scorpio 03'
Scorpio Horoscope
for today »


and on it goesCollapse )
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i kinda like this one [Sep. 17th, 2007|06:45 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
"Woman was created from the rib of man: Not from his head to be thought of only, nor from his hand to be owned, nor from his foot to be beneath, but from under his arm to be protected, from his side to be equal, and from his heart to be loved..". Author
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(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2007|09:43 pm]
This be my moïra in Life
I have the incredible urge to cry and just let myself die
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